The Hit list
The classics, but smarter. We give you the timings, the shortcuts, and the traps to dodge. This is how you win Brussels.
Essential landmarks
Seeing the landmarks isn’t the same as nailing them. Anyone can take the photo. We give you the play for each one.
Grand Place
See it at sunrise when the crowds are gone. Just promise us you won’t eat here. The real spots are two blocks away.
It’s been under scaffolding since 1984. The real move is the free city view out front and the secret glass elevator down.
It’s the King’s office, but for a few weeks each summer, you can actually get in. Pro tip: find the ceiling made of 1.6 million beetle wings.
Real talk: it’s tiny. You’ll be underwhelmed. The historic bar across the street is the actual reason to visit this corner.
A massive Gothic cathedral. The best secret isn’t in the windows, it’s on the floor. We’ll show you where Brussels time was born.
Europe’s first shopping mall. Skip the tourist chocolate. We’ll point you to the legendary shrimp croquettes and a bookstore with a secret gold ceiling.
A pretty park with a dirty secret. We’ll show you the exact fountain a Russian Tsar got drunk and threw up in. Seriously.
World-class Museums
Don’t wander into a museum at peak time. That’s a rookie mistake. Here’s how to get the art without the crowds.
Royal Museums of Fine Art
Home to the world’s greatest Flemish masters and largest Magritte collection.